Unexplained-able part 1

If you read this again, I got something to say...I feel the feeling of emo-ness. It has been a while. Seriously, a while, and the feeling coming back again. I don't understand why.. It's unexplained-able. A sudden, I feel nothing. I don't know what should I do next. I don't know what else can I do. :( Just let me be..let me emo for a night. Y.Y Fine.. I admit! I feel miserable, I feel scared, I feel worried, I feel______. I wonder what's in your mind and heart. Let me understand it please, could you? :(

Haihh.. anything la.. it's gonna be fine tomorrow. Hopefully, trust me! :) no worries

But tonight, let me emo emo jiu hao~~~

Where's the air??

OMG! i can't breath! I feel no air.. first time in my degree life.. I feel so stress up to the max. I hope for nothing but to finish the bloody hell exam as soon as possible. Oh dear! haihhhh... Y.Y

矛屯~

Free week 完了。week 10 也完了。再读多三个星期，就是study week 了，然后就是exam week. 掺！越是越靠经exam week,我越是觉得很紧张。超有压力的！就觉得，好恐怖哦！我都还没准备好呢。这时候心情就会很矛屯，好想快点考完，快点回家，可是又很怕考试。:S haihhh~算了吧！还是努力点好~~

我很想哭

为什么这样噢？ 你们想哭，我更想哭啦。 为什么那么喜欢叫我帮你们做assignment啊？？ 我自己的都做不完了啦！我最讨厌就是帮人家做assignment。想推可是你们又不爽我。推了，又生我的气。。什么跟什么啦？？？ 怎么办？？ 我真的不想要帮你们做。好姐妹的话，就别逼我啦..T___T 放过我吧！！！

我很开心!

我现在好想告诉全世界说： 我很开心叻！！！ 怎么办？ 太开心。

想知道为什么吗？呵呵。。哈哈！ 就因为这些原因吧：

1。爸爸让我早点回家了！！ （太想家了吧！）

2。 M 小姐跟她的男朋友好回了啦。（他们又从新开始了）哈哈！

3。 C 小姐终于放下他了！这是一件好事啊！因为她会找到更好的。

4。 最后一件 ： 也是让我很开心的； 我的好姐妹总于找到她的幸福了！

我真的好开心哦！

我好想家，想我的妈咪!

不知不觉，来了这陌生的地方也有一个月多了吧！不知怎么了，我就是很想家，很想我的妈咪啦！不关这地方有多好，有多美，有多大，可是没有家人和妈咪，一点也不好玩！（张不大的孩子）

我多么希望可以快点读完，带着四方帽，快点回家去吧！！！

以前，还没出来读书时，几希望可以快点出去，现在后悔了吧你静妮！真的，有点后悔了啦！！可是我又不会希望时间到回，只希望时间快点过，因为我想把书快快读完，让我的老母大人骄傲！！

这就是我漂亮的妈咪！咪，快点来带我回家去吧！

这里有个笑话;

每次我都很喜欢跟妈咪讲；“咪，我觉得我比你漂亮很多啦！” 然后妈咪就说; " 明明就是我比你漂亮啊！要不然你会那么漂亮？？死要脸！一定是我有这么美，那么你才会漂亮啊！“ （哈哈哈哈！无聊的母女！）

如果妈咪看到这个的话，肯定会笑翻天！

好吧，为了能带着四方帽回家， 本小姐我就赶紧勤劳的去做功课去呗！

再见咯！！

Down down down to the hill

OMG! assignment due tomorrow ehh.. super stressing! ishhh.. although I'm done with it since last week.. but don't know why.. i'm so worried about it. Sei Business Ethic! I just super H.A.T.E you!!!! arrrr! i feel stress to the max la.. :x I wanna cry..shoooo!

a nightmare.

Just woke up from a short nap. Having a so called "nightmare". It's so damn scary mannn.. I cried when I wake up.

I thought that I'm brave enough to face all this alone. I don't need anyone besides me..But hey! It's WRONG! I'm just a normal girl that actually need someone to guide and accompany. Guide and company to walk out all these difficulties. I found myself is not as brave as I think I am. I can't walk in darkness alone.

I wonder..where are you?

I miss home.. I miss peoples.. I miss things

Ishhhh.. I miss home weiii... I miss everyone back there... I miss I miss :( I wanna go home.. like I'm a mummy girl.. Nahh... half a year will be very very fast right???

Something in the heart and mind

*NOTE: THIS IS A RANDOM THOUGHT DURING BORING-NESS, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE OR ANY EVENT *

If only you know that my heart is whispering " I miss you! "

Time flies and do you still care?

Do I ever told you that I'm fine ?

I might look fine all the time..but have you ever doubt of it?

or do I still stand a chance to lie?

Sometimes, I wish to be alone. Sitting at the corner and thought of hundred and thousand of thing..but you never know that, I do feel lonely.

Lonely just because sometimes I wish to share my thought but there is no one beside me.

No one is willing to be here and listen.

Me- I- same as her do hopes that there is a you that willing to stand at my side.

To care about me.

To talk to me.

To hugs me.

To hold me tight.

To let me have an arm to lay on and a shoulder to cry on whenever I am sad

or whenever I miss you.

I'm sorry to be such a ridiculous and immature person in your life.

I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm sorry for disturbing your life.

Will you forgive a person when he/she says "I'm sorry"?

Whenever I says I'm sorry, I meant it. But do you ever take it seriously?

Sometimes, I wish and hope that there is someone to talk to.

Just to know the condition.

Just to share my day with you.

Just to let you know that I'm thinking of you.

How about you?

But..I always scared to bother...

Are you missing the you as well?

Remember to be grateful and appreciate the you

because it is so blissful to have the you who is missing you

all the time.....

Have you ever doubt the feeling of us?

Do you know that the feeling of your heart is true

Never doubt the feeling of the you towards you

because it always will be heart broken if you doubt it..

Trust the you

Laying down on bed and sleep with the pet is the only thing that I can do

if I starts to miss

Songs are besides too!

周華健 - 朋友 (卡拉OK)

朋友就是这样，有聚有散。。这个我很明白。可是就是会舍不得。身边的朋友一个一个的要离开了。要向着他们的未来前进。 而我呢，却还再原地。 没有了他们的日子，我会很寂寞，一个人上课，一个人读书，一个人温习，一个人说话，一个看戏，一个人逛街，一个人吃饭，一个人玩，一个人笑，一个人哭。。很伤心。。没有了姐妹们，可是为了他们好，我只能祝福他们，希望他们能努力，希望他们能成功。姐妹们，加油吧！！ 我会为了你们的成功而感到骄傲。 记得要想念我，因为我也会很想念你们的！

Once again I am wondering.

Oh well, let me put the words at the first place. This is my blog. You are welcome to read but if you think that I say something that offense you and you feel bad, you can just leave my blog.kays? and I won't say sorry to anyone. =)

As the title of the post, once again I am wondering. I wonder how come things turn out this way? At first I thought that it will be fine and things will go well. But..it seems like going the other way round. Things turn very bad to everyone =( Why? I also don't know. I don't have any ideas and comments on the things that happens. But hey, we shouldn't like this don't you think so? LOL..come on la people. Let's make things turn into good one..shall we? does it worth? x( Hmm..I am a bit of missed those old times. How I wish if time can go back to past? haha..*I know it is impossible la people..just dreaming* xD

One thing about human, we really need communication. Between couple, between friends. We really need a talk sometimes. Hinting is not a right way to do thing. Hinting will only cause misunderstanding between peoples. Therefore my dear friends, if there is something that in your heart and make you feel uncomfortable, just say it out and let the others know..it is as simple as that. Just say out whatever you want to say rather than keep it in your heart and you suffer alone. It worth nothing. Understand? I am not angry. Just saying my own opinions. It is still up to you if you want to keep it in your heart.

Friends are peoples that will help you if you are in need. As for myself, I am glad and happy that I got a lot of friends around me. I appreciate whatever they had done for me. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. =) *Thanks friends* No other words to use and express the feeling..but only Thanks =) without you guys, I am nothing and I won't be able to sit here=) Hehe

XoXo

Mooncake Festival

Was celebrating the festival with Rotaract club that organize by ah Tun xD *clap hand* Hehe..Everyone seems like enjoying it very much. =) So nice but too bad no moon to see tonight =(
This year celebration was different compare to last year. I miss last year celebration so much..where a group of close friend play lantern together around Senadin. All this are just memory already. =( This year only few of us celebrate it but with a big gang of peoples. Having fun! but there is still something in between that is missing or hidden? haha..
While walking around campus with lantern,I was thinking..where am I for next year Mooncake Festival? Will I still alive in this world? Or am I at somewhere else? What will I be doing? and so and so and so..ishhh..me think a lot right? think too far right? haha..*piak piak* *bendan!* owh..suddenly miss that word too! =(lalalala..
Oh well..lazy wanna type already la..bah bah..i'll stop here kay? hehe

Byebye peoplesss,

Sleep early =)

Future

Owh Owh Owh..I can see the color. The very bright color , that shine on me. Whenever I think of it, I feel so happy..I can't wait for it..wait me wait me kays?? My life isn't that bad I guess. At least I see a little hope in it. I shall have a better and more colorful life. No matter how tough the road gonna be..how many obstacles it will be..and whether I am going to go through it alone or not..I believe I can do it.. I can do even better than anyone else. I don't need anyone=) I will scarify everything to get and achieve it. That is what I promise to myself. Nothing is more important than that for me. I can't break the promise that I had made towards myself. Work hard little girl! =)

I don't care how others think because they don't think for me. I don't mind how others judge me because it is none of their business. That's what I want. =)

x0x0

在这宇宙我是独一无二，没人能取代。或许你们觉得我很自大，不是最好的，可是没关系，我不在乎。相信自己就好了。一觉醒来，明天的我是充满希望的。
未来的自己，不管遇到任何挫折任何难关都会很勇敢，不会放弃，不会伤心，不会觉得疲倦，因为我想留着最好的为来给自己=）加油！我一定会开心的跑到终点。未来的你会懂我的疯狂=）

It is my turn =)

Life are not as simple as we think it is.Really. That is what I think of. It is full with obstacles. Don't you agree? Oh well, there is nothing much I can do..life and times will keep on going and pass by.

Peoples, I am just a girl. Who stay somewhere around the corner of the earth. Around this planet. I have been like others, think and wonder a lot, should it be like this? should it be like this? is it correct or wrong to be in this way? Sometimes, I really can't get the answer as well. No matter how hard I am working on it. No matter how.. I always feel regret after I did it.. =(

I am not that stubborn anyways, I understand what is happening to me, I know what is going on. Peoples always says that, let the "time do the judgment". But time really can prove everything huh? Anyways, as for me, I kinda believe in this sentence..let the time tell us what should we do and what is the best option for us. Put our hand together..No matter in what problems that we faced. Believe in God =) Always pray and He will guide you.

I don't know how others think about me..some might says that I am selfish? I am easily get jealous? I am so called "small-gas"? but Hey! peoples! If you don't know me, please don't use your brain and mouth to judge me. Please?! I am just who I am. I am as normal as that. Simple as that.
Me, same as others, will get tired also. Tired till where I need a shoulder for me to cry. Cry as much as I want..but..there is something in between..that makes it so complicated. One thing I wanna mention at here is, I cry not because I am not mature..not because I am childish..not because I don't know how to think. I cry because it is really pain from the deep of my heart. I am tired now but I never wanna give up. I will only give up if I really really feel that I can't do it anymore. I don't want to force myself. It will just create another pain in my heart. Let me be what I wanna be okay? Let me live in the dream. Let me live in the fairytale. I will get out from it when I am awake. I don't know why am I like this.Seriously..I don't understand.. Being hurting myself a lot. "Hey,girl! ..don't hurt your self anymore. No one will pity you". How silly it is right? =(

Seriously, I wanna leave this place..going to a place that no one know me. Let everything starts from the beginning.Begins with zero..like the day I was born on the earth..can I?


p/s: prayer : *Dear Father in Heaven, I am so not in any direction. I am so weak. I am so helpless. Please helps me with direction and the confidence. Help me to see the view clearly. Help me to go through all the things. Father, Please bless and help the one that I care much. Give him faith and confidence.Help him in anything that he need. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. =)*

Little girl is sick

The lilltle girl is sick liao.. Feel sooooo tired. Tired till lazy to do everything. Wish to let all those things unsettle and hopefully it will settle it by itself. Hmm..imposible right? arrrr.. whatever la. Wanna a warm and tight hug from dear:(

Ouch..

So, my tittle will be ouch! Why ouch? Seriously, I wanted to post this last night but too lazy, so I didn't post it. Gonna post it before I starts with my worksssssss >.<"

Oh well, let's starts with "I hate the month of August". Know why? All bad and black things happens to me and give me a shocked! Seriously! I wonder why this happens to me? Why am I so "soi"? Haih. Fine, I don't want to mention it out one by one. I'll just keep the hurts and pains in deep of my heart

Sometimes I wonder, I already tried my very best to do everything. But still, alalala...It will be a challenge and obstacle of my life eh.. So, learn to accept it la little girl. You are a tough and brave girl! Things will be fine on September. *Countdown for me please :'( *

On my way from G3 to SOB, looking at the evening cloud, the color of the sky, it speaks out what is in my mind. I hope to get out of the problems that I faced now. I even told Jei Ning that I hope when tonight I sleep, the next day I'll be at somewhere else.* She laugh at me. Because that was what in her mind too.* A place that no people knows me and I can starts everything with "zero". But, suddenly, people that I care jump into my mind. I was wondering again, if I am far away from them, how will they feel? Will they feel sad? I guess I will.Trust me, cause I really care them lots. Including the one that I love:)

Haha. Another random thought of the day: Earth will not stop turning without you. Let's put everything in the hand of God. Shall we? I guess He has His' plan on me. I'll just follow His instruction. :)

Okay. Next move to the next thing. Another bad thing :( My lappy died! Haih. Why la die at time like this. When I started to be busy with my studies and assignments. Doink doink! How am I gonna do my works then? :(

This afternoon, I have been hurt by 3 peoples. haih. I already very very down and upset on what's happening to me lately. You guys says something like that, My heart really cry that time. You guys never know. It makes me feel that, Ok.. I am nothing, I am just a random person :) But really la...maybe because of my mood, that's why I tend to take whatever people says seriously. Sorry, if what I says hurt you guys.

I hope things can go back to the happy time. But it won't. Time never turns back.

Ouch..it's ghost festival today? swt..I almost get into a car accident just now. When I was on my way back home. Scary! It's a bit similar to the dream. :( I don't dare to tell my mom. If not, she won't let me drive anymore. It's the second time already..But lucky me, God blessed me! :) Love Father, Amen!

Peoples and friends around me are starting to "jump into the river of love". *Direct translate* Couple here and there..hehe.. It is so sweet to see you guys happy. Hopefully everything go smoothly and will be happy forever and after. hehe:)

Lalala..done with everything and I gonna do my works now. It's enough! Bye bye peoples.:)

* Note : Whatever I says here is just my random thoughts, ideas and my diary. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. So, please don't get too serious :) *

你：）

人海茫茫中，遇见的你。。
故事也就这样的开始了。。

你，或许不是最有钱。。
或许不是最聪明。。
或许不是最好看。。
或许不是最厉害。。
或许不是最体贴。。

可是，

你却是
最疼我。。
最宠我。。
最想我。。
最关心我。。
最保护我。。
最明白我。。
最了解我。。的人。。

真的觉得很开心有你的陪伴。。就算现在也是一样。。
你的怀抱和肩膀。。一直都是因为我而开。。让我想依靠的时候，就有地方让我依靠。。
谢谢你，亲爱的：）

哈哈:)

BALL

Since I was a kid,life of mine is like a ball. Seriously, whenever people feel like playing, they will play it. Whenever there don't, there will always kick me aside. Am I that fun to be played? Oh well, I don't really mind if they feel fun..as long as there are happy I will be happy too.:) *That's how I survive* Be as happy as I can.

Simple problems and issues are actually easy to solved but human is the one who make it complicated. Agree? I always don't mind how cruel others treat me. Because I always thought that, if I treat people well, they will also treat me well. *blink blink eyes*
Time flies very fast and I getting afraid to be a ball. I always try to treat others as nice as I can although I don't like.* But that's life* . But don't know why, they always feel that my care is such annoying until they feel like getting far away from me. Am I that annoying and scary? Or I am nothing or no one to them?

Sometimes, I really don't know what should I do to make them like me. I am trying to be an adult. Think maturely. Haih. No one would understand how I feel. I don't have any other purpose but just to treat peoples around me as good as I can. Am I too over until I cross the boundaries? I wish I won't cross the boundaries but still..I am crossing it. *guessing* I guess it is because I am scared of losing peoples that I care much. I wish to stay by their side to accompany and support them whenever they faced problems or difficulties. But,the outcomes is always negative. It always go somewhere up side down. :(

Being honest, sometimes I care people not because I want them to care me. I did it just because I really did it sincerely. I have nothing much to say if they don't like it.

Life is always like this.The dark side of my world seems like calling for me. That world is so much scary until........*no words can describe*

Haih. Failure in life. I failed in everything. Seriously. I hate being a ball once again.

Owhh~ I am just being too random to post this. Anyways, I hopes that peoples that I care will be happy. If they feel happy and comfortable without my care, I am willing to leave their life. Just tell me and I will do so. :l

I am tired of thinking it. I need rest :)

You give the title

Ok..let's start the post with some stories. Well, I am back from Kuching trip on Monday (12.07.2010), arriving Miri at 2am(13.07.2010) in the morning..holy! That's early right? >.<" What to do..blame the bus driver? Because keep stop on the way..arggg! Whatever la..as long as I reach Miri safely right? haha

Next, result was released on 14.07.2010. Guess what? I scared I will fail my International Marketing 250. :( But without my expectation, I pass it! Hehe..but I get a pass only. Not even a credit. * Aikss...Don't be greedy, girl!* as long as I don't repeat it. I pass with a good result tho. Thanks God. :D

So, this few days..what I did? Hmm..like usual..watch drama..eat..sleep and I am going to repeat it until the semester starts.@.@

I am going to experience my second year second semester life next semester. Time flies fast huh? yea..I also think so. Hopefully can graduate soon. Very very soon. I just wanna get to the workplace to earn some money. I am tired of my current life now =.="

Like what I said..time pass so fast in a blink of eye. Things happen without expectation and no one knows what is going on next. I can't imagine I have gone through all this. :D Some bad some good things happens. Bad things of course makes me feel tired, sad,unhappy and angry. Good things of course makes me feel happy and blessed! :D I might not be a good child of God, not a good daughter of my parent, not a good granddaughter of my grandparents, not a good sister of my siblings, not a good girlfriend of my boyfriend, not a good friend of my friends, but I am happy and thankful for what they had did for me. *Hugsss* *Gonna improve myself to be a good one for you and only you* *Love*
:)

God bless everyone.
Love you guys <3